Helping a Friend After a Traumatic Event

When tragedy strikes close to home, the entire community feels it. The recent explosion at the ammunition plant has left many people shaken and uncertain about how to support those who were directly affected. Even when you weren’t there, it’s natural to want to help but not know what to say or do.

After thirty years of working with trauma survivors, I’ve learned that comfort doesn’t come from having the right words. It comes from showing up, listening, and offering a calm, caring presence. Healing begins with connection.

1. Listen Without Trying to Fix

After a traumatic event, emotions can shift quickly. Someone might cry, go silent, or seem detached. All of these are normal responses. Your role isn’t to offer explanations or reassurance—it’s to listen with compassion.

If you’re unsure what to say, try gentle phrases such as:“I’m here with you.”“This sounds really painful.”“You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Sometimes the best support is quiet presence, not conversation.

2. Help Them Feel Grounded

Trauma can make people feel disconnected from the present. Encourage small, grounding activities: a slow walk outside, noticing the sound of birds, or simply breathing together in silence.

Grounding helps the body feel safe again. The goal isn’t to erase the pain, but to remind the nervous system that safety still exists in small moments of calm.

3. Give Healing Time

Recovery rarely follows a straight line. Some days will feel almost normal; others will feel impossible. Stay patient. Keep checking in over time—even after the headlines fade.

A short message or a simple “thinking of you today” can make a lasting impact. Healing takes time, but steady support makes the journey less lonely.

4. Offer Specific Help

When people are overwhelmed, decisions can feel impossible. Instead of asking, “What do you need?”, offer something specific:

• “I’m at the grocery store. Can I grab something for you?”

• “Would you like company for a walk?”

• “I made dinner. Can I drop some off tonight?”

These simple, concrete offers provide real relief.

5. Encourage Professional Support When Needed

If your friend continues to struggle with sleep, feels detached, or remains on edge for weeks, it may help to suggest professional trauma therapy. EMDR and other trauma-informed treatments can help the mind and body begin to process what happened.

Seeking help isn’t weakness—it’s a step toward healing.

6. Take Care of Yourself Too

Supporting someone in deep pain can be emotionally heavy. Make space for your own rest, reflection, and support. You can’t offer calm to someone else if your own system is depleted.

When tragedy touches a community, healing often begins in the smallest gestures—a quiet conversation, a shared meal, a moment of stillness together. You don’t need to have the right answers. Your presence, patience, and care can make a world of difference.

Columbia Center for EMDR Therapy has a few spots available for pro bono trauma treatment for family or first responders of those impacted by the explosion. Please reach out if you feel this would be helpful. Ginger@columbiaemdr.com